Husbands, don't try this at home. I'm a professional.
[One twin intermittently wakes, cries, and goes back to sleep from 4-6am.]
"What's up with your son waking up so much?"
"Wait, what about your son?"
...
"He's been asleep this whole time!"
The boys have had a pretty rough couple of weeks. Besides being congested and snotty a lot more than before, their sleep has
suffered here and there - mostly one of them waking up early, sitting up and crying while his brother sleeps. After a few
minutes to make sure, I'll go in and hold and whisper to him for a while, which usually works fine. It actually hasn't
been horrible - it's just that they were doing so well before.
A small part of me wants to let them sleep in our bed, but that's just not practical. Besides that they might get addicted
to the idea and refuse cribs thereverafter, our double bed is already housing two adults, a cat, and a fetus.
Similarly, they've been more high strung during waking hours, losing their composure at little things that didn't bother them
a couple of months ago. One of the sure-fire ways to set them off is to change their overnight diaper in the morning, which
I think they take to mean we're getting them ready for day care (which is usually correct).
This may or may not just be the latest growthspurt, after which they're supposed to enter
a New Era of self-awareness - vocabulary skyrockets, articulation clears up, they don't get rattled as easily, etc. I
certainly hope so, and I really hope they're over this by the time Ellen gets here and rocks their predictable little world.
We finally got batteries for the van's keychain fobs. I probably shouldn't be as jazzed as I am about how it
automatically opens the sliding side doors.
As part of our ongoing "get used to babies" efforts, a friend brought his newborn son over. Bobby didn't quite get the helplessness angle, trying to get
him to take a whiffle ball. Later, shirt off for no known reason, he asked to
sit with him.
For the last two days, we've let them go down the stairs to the back
porch to explore and play. The slope to the bushes scares them, which is useful. However, the fence to the left has a gap in the bottom, so I
anticipate a lot of balls rolling under in the future.
[+] They warn you about this - Liss was frustrated by the film
on the boys' yogurt, and said "crap" once. Bobby took it from there.
"The biggest difference between two and three kids is that you switch your defense from man-to-man to zone."
Runrunrunrun!
A new thing - the boys hold our hands while we walk. It takes very little prompting - one will walk off a ways, I'll
call out for him to take my [extended] hand, and he'll come back and hold it. Sometimes they even take the initiative.
For us, it's very useful for keeping them nearby, but mostly I just think it's sweet.
This also affords us the opportunity, when each of us has one's hand, to pick up and swing him.
Liss's idea for helping the boys transition to older-brotherhood is to have them help out. They're already generally
helpful in a lot of ways, so this shouldn't be too difficult to get going. Having them involved will reinforce that
helpfulness while getting them precious attention.
The boys definitely have their little obsessions:
Balloons, one of their first. "BAOOOO!" It was probably the first thing they started pointing out in their books.
Cars. When we're on a walk, they point out every car and vocalize it with "caaaaaa?" They ask to ride in the car.
As we strap them in, they let us know that they're in a car. Driving along, they'll still point out other cars, though
thankfully not all of them. Trucks are cars. Motorcycles are cars. Trains are cars.
Lights. If a light is off, they want it on. If it's on, they go "hite!" and point at it.
Babies. Their "beh-BEEEE?" sounds French. They like them and are curious about them, but all of their baby
interactions have been fleeting. We'll see if their baby-love sticks around when a certain baby does.
The moon. This is a minor one for now, because they can't see it very often; their bedtime is too early. They
know about it, though, and have seemingly made the connection between the real "moo" and the ones in their books.
Cats. We have this book, which
has elaborately-drawn dinosaurs on every page, a few people, toys, etc. They never point to anything until the last page,
which has a small cat on a bed, about 5% of the size of its dinosaur. "KITTY!"
Swings, specifically the ones at local parks. They'll sometimes ask me "WHEEE?" when I pick them up from day care.
They'll point them out when we drive by a park. When we get to one, all they want to do is have us push them while they
observe the older kids. Bob will go "whee?" when he wants me to push him higher. I predict a lot of swinging as the
weather gets warmer and evenings stay lit longer.
So. It's March.
Sometime this month, I'm going to have a little girl.
A baby daughter.
Um.
Yeah.
In like a lamb, out like a lioness.
February 20th+ - 35 weeks
From Liss:
Tomorrow marks 35 weeks, 6 days of this pregnancy--the gestational date I delivered the boys. This time, though:
My rings still fit
My shoes still fit
My blood pressure has been 115/60 all week
My lab tests keep coming back normal
I can and do still tromp up the stairs at work several times per day
So maybe baby girl won't get kicked out early after all. My back hurts, my hips really hurt--are they spreading? She's in a good position; am I tough enough for
a VBAC too?
I finished my last paper for my Boards, and tomorrow I'm supposed to drive to Tacoma for a peer-editing session (meh) and information about the June assessment center
piece (which I could really use). I haven't been cooking or cleaning or arranging baby clothes (hell, we still don't know where her clothes are going to go), I've been
writing. No, it's not a traditional way to nest; but I'm seldom accused
of being particularly traditional.
One of the sweeter things the boys will do (as shown in this picture) is sit next to each other. That is, one
will sit with a book or whatever, and the other will find something of his own and then go plop down next to his brother.
The hospital shuffled everyone for some reason, so the scheduled c-section is now on March 25th instead of the 24th.
Bob's developed a runny nose. Fortunately, he knows exactly what to do - wipe it off with his hand. What happens to it after
that is immaterial.
A woman in Liss's PEPS group has twin girls about the same age as the boys, who are even smaller. She took them to a pediatric
nutritionist, who basically said to try to sneak as much fat into their food as possible - feed them butter straight up, let them have
ice cream every night, etc.
Liss spends a lot of effort trying to do the exact opposite - removing fat/sugar/salt while keeping things tasty. The irony is not lost
on her.
The boys are addicted to their binkies. Ad-dic-ted. I'm talkin' hard-core, Betty Ford Clinic needin', hit your arm lookin' for a
vein, sellin' yer class ring for a hit addicted.
However, they work. They soothed the savage babies, and now the savage toddlers. Therefore, we have to assume that Ellen will use them
similarly, so there will be binkies aplenty for a while, so ... no need to wean them yet.
I smack Liss's butt all the time, but this weekend I noticed Drew staring at us one time while I did it. That brought to mind a scenario
whereby they go to kindergarten and proudly announce that "daddy hits mommy." Adding to the fun is that they're very likely to attend
the elementary school where she works.
Pictures and video.
Liss at 35 weeks. Compare this to the twin pregnancy at the same time. I also like this new one because it
has the blurry boys, which definitely adds something to my oeuvre.
Drew with a Nerf basketball. Note the
winter coat to complement the lack of pants.
[+] Playing in their tent. What you can't see
is me telling Bob "no" after his smack of Drew's forehead.
[+] By request, a couple of words - "meat" and
"please," with our prompting. They use the "thank you" sign (open hand to mouth) for "please," but that's okay. The hand to mouth with
fingers together (the first sign Bobby does) mean "eat," though he quickly changes to their "please."
February 13th+ - 34 weeks
From Liss:
I can't help it: I'm a teacher. I see what happens when kids' parents don't talk to them (we do!) or when they don't get
early intervention if there are problems. All kids develop at different rates, some of the smartest people talk late,
boys talk late, twins talk late. Check. Still, you can't blame me for having worried when 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 months
went by with no words.
The milestones, for what they're worth, are 1 word at age 1, a dozen at 18 months, 50 words and some 2-word
constructions by age 2. I think I can stop worrying now.
Signs:
eat, more, milk, thank you, water
Understandable by anyone:
Mama, Daddy, binky, no, yeah, up, down, moon, baby, knee, nose, ball, hi, bye-bye
Understandable by us, usually:
kitty, dog, car, shoes, socks, mouth, eye, cracker, bunny, juice, meat, swing ("whee!"), coat, Drew (only B), book,
cook, penis (you knew that would make the 50), diaper, poop, pee, pillow, spoon, eat, keys, read, pants, button, hot
(always followed by puffing), light, balloooon!, teeth
2-word constructions (Bobby):
Car! Baby! (the day after visiting Baby H--we are trying to make Babies seem like The Awesomest Thing Ever, and H is a
good test subject)
Drew, hi! (after we'd "divided and conquered" for an afternoon and B was missing his bro, he said that all the way home)
And they understand plenty more. It's pretty cool watching them turn into little people.
(They probably have several more that we just haven't deciphered yet.)
Unless something happens with the scheduling office, Liss will be set for a c-section on Wednesday, March 24th.
Of course, this assumes that Ellen waits that long. If not, Liss will probably try labor for a while - to signal the
body to produce milk - then decide on a c-section versus VBAC.
From the OB visit, Ellen is now head-down in birthing position. Liss's blood pressure is still a little high, but not
enough for them to cry foul yet. If she goes pre-eclamptic again, this whole process will be sped up real quick.
Whereas Bobby was extra fussy last week, Drew is this week. Meanwhile, Bob's been very pleasant.
The new stuff with Drew is that he'll start wailing when we leave them at bedtime. He also did it this morning when I
left him in the kitchen to go to the bathroom. It might be a residual effect of being away for two days, but that
might be a leap.
To calm him last night, I went in to pick him up and carry him for a while. It didn't really work until I hummed a
long, low note with him against my chest. I figure it works on his mother, so why not him? In this case it did the
trick, and - after several more of those - I was able to put him back down without incident.
The whole time, Bobby just lay in his crib, eyes wide open, sucking his pacifier once in a while. It's a good thing
these meltdowns usually only occur one-twin-at-a-time, especially when their other parental unit is out of the house.
From Liss:
We're back from Portland. I'm very relaxed.
We left on Saturday morning, managing to sneak out the back door while the boys were playing with the shoes by the
front. I'm sure they were mad when they realized we were gone, but we didn't have to deal with it. We took
the train down on Saturday morning, which was an excellent idea--so relaxing, so easy.
Highlights:
- Three trips to Powell's, many used and one new book purchased for ourselves
and others
- Sleeping in until 7 and 8, which probably doesn't sound like much if you're not the parent of a
toddler or two
- The last two movies we'll see in a theatre for a very long time: The Young Victoria and An Education.
(We decided we're like Victoria and Albert, except for our utter lack of power. And the part where we won't be having
any 9 children--I'm too old to be the liberal Duggars.)
- NO Valentine's Day reservations or rip-offs: street food, coffee shops, Voodoo Donuts, and the $20 "Cheap Date" special at Kenny and Zuke's
- Instead of spending money on traditional romantic stuff we picked up cute Dansko sandals, tax-free
- Lots of walking, plenty of lazing
- The boys met us gleefully upon our return, said "Daddy" and "Mama" and wrestled us to the ground
- At my request, Grandpa cut their hair in our absence.
- Best of all (mostly): continued pregnancy.
I'm off work all week. I meet with my Boards mentor tomorrow afternoon, then spend the rest of the week editing my 3
portfolios. The goal is to have everything ready to mail by the end of the month. If I get enough done by Thursday,
I'll take time for a pedicure after Friday's OB appointment: all the better to show off the new sandals, my dear.
February 6th+ - 33 weeks
In just the last few days, Bob's pronounciation of "binky" has started to actually sound like "binky," to the point that a
stranger could probably tell what he means. His "k" sounds like "k" instead of "ch." They're supposed to have at least 50
words by July, and I think they're around 20 now. It becomes a snowball effect at a certain point, but they're not there yet.
He's been quite a pill the last few days - clingy, fussy, inconsolably whiny, wants to be held more often, etc. These are
the signs of a growth spurt, though it may just be from teething pain. I'm going with the growth spurt, though, because of the
"binky" thing. Fortunately, he's been sleeping just fine.
Not that this has anything to do with the children, except it's more or less my only hobby these days, but this year's free Oscar pool is open for business.
From Liss:
As the story goes, I was born 2 months early. Knowing what I do now about prematurity, especially in the dark ages of 70s, I
doubt I was quite that early, because I went home with my parents less than a week later. So either I was a miracle or let's
go with 4-6 weeks early, but still--a 4-something-pounder.
This came about because my mother was on a business trip to Milwaukee, WI--one state over. They still smoked at work then, and
she was allergic, and somewhere during the meeting she coughed so hard her water broke. Voila--a baby.
I've never been back to Milwaukee. We're going to do a baseball road trip someday, and maybe we'll drive by St. Whoever's
(either Mary or Joseph) Hospital and give a little wave.
In the meantime, I've been thinking about this lately because James and I will be going to Portland, OR--one state over--this
weekend. I have a completely irrational fear that this girl will take after her mother and arrive at ~34 weeks in the wrong
city. I'm gonna panic every time I cough this weekend.
More than that, though, I'm getting excited about the trip. I'm on track to have all the drafts of my Boards finished by then
and the rule is No Work. My parents are flying in to take care of the boys.* We'll laze about the hotel room and go
to Powell's and see some movies and eat** and ... I don't know, do other stuff you suggest. We haven't decided
whether to train or drive, but it might be getting a bit late for that.
But first, this week of work. And Boards. I'd write more often, but that's all I'd talk about so, just say, "Oh, Liss is playing
with toddlers and working on her Boards."
* they'd been planning for years (yes, pre-twins-conception) to come to let us go to the Olympics, but I'm too
pregnant and James doesn't have the time and we can't spare that much money. So, Portland.
** where? James is cheap and boring***, I am moderate and flexible.
*** which I say in the most loving way--he'll admit it himself!
Nineteen months old.
Bob's pronounciation of 'binky' sounds a lot like 'bitch.' Or, if you prefer, 'beach.'
This is a very common sequence of events:
One twin gets an idea.
He does something about it.
Other twin thinks that's the best idea ever.
He does something about it.
This is fine when it's something like "milk sounds good right about now" or "I think go I'll downstairs and play with dad's shoes for the
hell of it," because there's no sharing necessary. It's not so nice when there's only one of something, and twin 2 will grab - or worse,
hit and grab. For the most part, it just means trying to have two of everything especially cool, or getting good at redirecting their
attention.
However, I've also learned to use this to my advantage. I love having them sit in my lap, so all it usually takes is for me to convince one
of them that it's a good idea. Or, once one of them starts to put on his coat, the other will soon follow. You get the idea.
This morning I noticed that Bob's top "gap" teeth are just starting to poke the gumline. I didn't have time to check Drew.
On a similar note, Liss gave them each a small apple, and Bob was able to bite into it with no help. Drew needed me to
"prime" his with a single bite, but he was fine after that.
Two blue cups of sippy
Held the juice of moo
Two nights past one vanished full
This morn was found as goo
January 30th+ - 32 weeks
From Liss:
The daughter I've imagined for at least 30 years is only a few weeks from birth. Don't tell anyone, but I'm getting completely terrified.
If this baby comes as early as the boys did (my BP has been up a bit, though not scarily yet), that's 3 weeks from now. It's only 2 weeks
left of work, since we have mid-winter break the week after next. I know there's no way to know, but I kinda feel like we have to be READY by
then: work good to go, Boards basically done, teeny diapers acquired, cradle back upstairs, newborn clothes located, plan made.
Plan made, that's the hard part.
I still haven't decided whether to go for a VBAC, go into labor and have a C-section, or schedule a C/S. Labor would help with milk, but a)
I'm resigned to not making enough anyway and b) the phrase "uterine rupture" is pretty scary even if it is only 1% odds. C-section is a known
experience, and the last one wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared. I think that's what I want, I just wish I wanted the VBAC more. My mom would
come deal with the boys if we schedule it, but there's no guarantee the baby will wait for the schedule. Otherwise, we have to figure out who
can take care of the boys when, and where. And ask them to do it. And have their stuff in order so taking care of them is as easy as
possible.
And then have 3 kids.
I'm ecstatic and relieved ... and completely terrified.
Almost every night, there's a mini slumber party in the cribs after we put the boys to bed. Sometimes it's fleeting, but other times it
lasts 90 minutes or so. We'd be okay with that if we saw any correlation between falling asleep later and getting up later, but we
haven't. We don't want to go in to shush them, because our entrance might just wake them up further - and give them incentive to party
again next time - but we'll probably have to start doing so as they mature.
Just a quick reposting of this link to emphasize the importance of 32 weeks.
It's a long, gradual process, but it's getting easier. The boys are getting good at communicating what they want, and will often (but
not always) accept when they can't get it. The dreaded 18-month sleep regression hasn't really materialized, though a couple of friends'
kids didn't have theirs until 21 or so. In general, they're of good cheer, just go with the flow, and seem to enjoy our and each other's
company.
Of course, Ellen may shatter all of this.
Pictures.
Both on the counter, "helping" make breakfast, Bob on the right, looking silly.
Note how it's getting time for the dreaded first haircut.
Bob with a spent toilet paper roll. Reduce, reuse, recycle!
Drew in my lap. They both will stand, crounch, stand, etc. while I encourage.
Bob reminding the readers that it's not all cuteness and fun. We get about four of
these meltdowns a day on the weekends.
They've recently rediscovered their tunnel, Drew in the foreground.
Bob and I. We were watching Bolt, which was just the latest in a long list of
evidence that the television calms them down. Liss is horrified at her own compliance.
Artistic closeups of Drew (one, two) after he'd calmed down following a meltdown.
Some friends brought over their 6-week-old son last night. The boys were attentive and interested. After all,
he was a novelty, then they went to bed, and he was gone in the morning.
Ellen, however, will stick around. After all these fleeting experiences with other babies, that might be a
shocker. Lots of toddlers regress when a new
baby comes, including "loss" of words or other milestones, so we need to be alert. They already help around
the house some - fetching or putting away clothes or diapers - so we can try to get them to help with Ellen as
a way to cope. Fortunately, unlike most first-borns, they at least have each other.
We ordered a couple of practice potties. While they're not ready for potty training, it doesn't hurt to have
the apparati around so they get used to them, and it's not some sudden scary thing when the time comes. For
all we know, they'll enjoy mimicking us like they do with other things. We still use the restroom in front of
them sometimes, so they know the drill.
One question was, do we get one or two? If experience is any indication, they'll both get attached to one of
them and ignore the other. However, I went ahead and got two - one for upstairs and one down.
In about two years, Ellen will get the worst hand-me-downs of her life.
The boys have picked up the word 'mama' in the last couple of days, specifically to ask where she is. In other
words, they don't say it often in front of her, but I heard it ten times yesterday. Fortunately, they both
said it this morning as I carried them downstairs - where she was - so she got to hear it. Unlike previous
nebulous usage, it now means what it's supposed to mean.
She says they're the same way with 'dada.'
We're starting to figure out the logistics of Ellen's birth. When it was the boys, all we really had to do was put food in
the cat dish. This time, there are two toddlers to consider. Labor and delivery could conceivably take two days and
nights, and then 2-3 days of recovery and getting Ellen's initial tests done, etc. Day care will help, but I'll still
have to split my time between being home with them or in the hospital with "my girls" during recovery, and not home at all
during delivery.
Anyway, we're going over what-ifs, and all this is one more factor in favor of a c-section, which sounds highly
Western culture in the "life must go according to my plan!" sort of way. "Major surgery instead of natural birth? Well, if
we could do it during her Spring break ..."
Friday's OB appointment was pretty boring, as they should be. Now that things are getting close, she'll be going every
other week for a while, and then every week starting around March 1.
Half the time they talked about the pros and cons of VBAC versus another c-section.
She's on the fence, but later said she might be talking herself into a c-section. What probably pushed her was his
description of uterine rupture in 1% of VBAC cases.
She's also getting a referral to a lactation consultant who has an M.D., as she's very underwhelmed by her provider's normal
cadre, and will probably need prescriptions to produce.
No ultrasound, but the heart monitor picked up Ellen just fine, beating right at 140 bpm where it should be.
The boys had their quarterly checkup and blood draw for the diabetes study they're in. They get unofficial stats - Drew came
in at 21 pounds (with clothes) and Bobby at 20.5, with both up to 29.5".
They said that their young patients tend to notice that "this is that place that causes me pain" around 18-24 months, and
Drew fit the bill; he started crying when we walked into the foyer. Bob caught on later, especially when the nurse put on
her gloves, which triggered both of them to wail. That was nothing compared to the actual blood draws, which are bad enough
when they can hit a vein (Bob), but worse when they can't and have to prick and squeeze the foot (Drew).
During Drew's draw, two of the employees were alternately blowing bubbles or shaking a toy to distract him from the pain,
which kind of worked, but he was still screaming. On the way home, I opined that if someone were causing me great physical
pain, I wouldn't take too kindly to someone blowing bubbles to distract me from it. To counter, Liss tried to think of the
adult male equivalent, and asked if I were in that situation, would I really yell "get those boobs out of my face!"?
She had a point.
We got a used minivan on Sunday, which is just the latest of many admissions that the children have taken/are taking over our
lives. Neither of our sedans could have fit two boosters and an infant seat, so here we are. The idea is to have this one
last seven years (it's an '01), then get another until they're out of the nest and/or driving their own. We both usually
drive cars until they quit on us - my car's a '96, and her old one a '99 - so we aren't the kind to get antsy for newness.
In cleaning out her old car, we found quite a bit of nostalgia. It was archaeology, but messier; all I needed was a pith
helmet. Unfortunately, the dealer lowballed us on the trade-in, so we'll probably donate it.
This purchase seems to be one of those bellweather events that people dread, for the reason I mentioned above, especially
men. Maybe it's that I've never been a Car Is An Extension Of My Manhood guy, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
We need to move the family from A to B safely, in a cost effective manner, sometimes with some stuff or visitors added.
That's really about it.
It doesn't hurt that we came in under what I'd budgeted, either.
January 16th+ - 30 weeks
From Liss:
Let me say this: I love my family. I have the job I want, I have financial stability, I'm relatively healthy, I have friends.
I can't imagine what I'd really want to change, but sometimes James is out of town with his charming distracting self and I'm
sick of typing BS about teaching and I go on a maudlin streak.
The sex ed unit I used to teach had a self-esteem lesson. We were supposed to teach kids that everyone needs to feel that
they belong, they're capable, and they're needed. For some reason that list has been popping into my head this week. I think
my self-esteem is fine, but I wish I could say I feel needed or even a sense of belonging outside of my own little family.
Lately, no.
Parenting has changed our lives for the better, but I know I've been feeling lonely lately. We don't have many parent friends
here; and those we do have, have local family for support. For us, we don't have a real circle. We have friends, sure, people
we enjoy talking to and spending time with, but after a day of work and toddlers it sure is easier to just hunker down with
your spouse and re-charge. We don't have a group to fade into, every interaction has to be planned. We're nobody's "usual
suspects." We don't have a standing Friday night beer group or Sunday evening game get-together. Even the parent group we
joined (which I'd hoped would be The Answer) fizzled: they all already had their circles, so once the shock of new parenthood
wore off, they didn't need us any more.
I've had friends tell me they don't want children because they think they're "too selfish." While I can respect that
sentiment (and certainly don't think anyone should have kids who doesn't want them!), I also know this: parenthood has made
me more selfish. I am not nearly as fun or involved a friend as I once was, I'm not up to intellectual sparring or even
keeping up with pop culture that doesn't appear in Entertainment Weekly.*
And it's not that we can't be friends with non-parents, but it's hard to be spontaneous and it's hard to be all Intellectual.
We're not going to be anyone's "call in case of crisis" people when we're so baby-focused. I work (with kids). I go home (to
kids). If I'm not cooking, cleaning (ha), or snuggling/Scrabbling with my spouse, I'm working on my National Boards.
I don't know what the answer is. We could try a different new-parent group when Ellen arrives, but we're too anal about the
7:00 bedtime for an evening group so we'd just end up with the Microsoft SAHMs again. We could join ... I don't know,
something else. We could try to set up a "regular" with some of our existing friends. **
But really what's going to happen is that in a couple of months, Ellen will arrive. The small amount of sanity we've
established around here will be shattered. Friends who can will help us, despite our inability to help anyone else right now.
And in a few more years we'll poke our heads out and see if we can re-establish some sense of community outside these walls.
* which is the only thing I can be counted on to read lately
** I keep thinking we could do something here at, like, 7:30 very easily, but we seldom get there. And now we're
on borrowed time again.
Liss had a late night at work, so it was just me and the boys. Sometime during the bed routine, I got them mixed, to the
point of putting them in each other's cribs. I also was the one who got them out, so she only "knew" who was who based on
the names I was using, but she was suspicious. The turning point came when "Bob" smiled at me and showed prominent
dimples, though Drew's are much more pronouned. That's when I looked at his ear and realized my mistake.
Soon enough they'll be able to tell us when we're wrong. Later they'll agree to just let us be wrong and see how
long it takes for us to figure it out, or see which of them cracks up laughing - whichever comes first.
Love is removing the large dried booger from your son's cheek.
January 9th+ - 29 weeks
Pictures.
Both from behind, sitting on the couch while Liss feeds
them. I think Bob's on the left. Maybe.
Both with Liss. The light really brings out
their eyes in this one. Again, I think Bob's on the left, but only from what little of his ear is visible.
This is not a mirror, but rather Drew exploring
outside a little bit. They kept going in and out, in and out - kinda like the cat.
We've started letting them climb the stairs at bedtime, even though it gets them going a little bit. Grace is usually somewhere in their way, and they always
pause and whine and eventually go around her. She is, after all, sharp and pointy.
They go downtairs to the front foyer sometimes, and often bring up some of our shoes. We're trying to break them of that, since
we need our shoes to be findable, but not before Drew
brought up a pair of mine and tried to step in them. I swear I didn't stage this.
We throw random instructions at the boys to see what they do and don't understand. Last night Drew moved an empty laundry
basket across the floor, out of sight of the living room. Later, Liss opened a box of maternity clothes that had come in the
mail, and asked him to put a blouse in the laundry basket, without motioning where. He promptly walked it over and put it in,
then repeated the task three times. We therefore conclude that he knows the word "basket" - though he can't say it.
We tend to be overly cautious about declaring a word known or not. If I point to an object and tell one of them that it's to
his left, and he looks left and grabs it, that doesn't mean he understands left from right. He might have just been reacting
to my pointing - or even the act of projecting my voice to his left.
The opposite behavior is to jump to a conclusion: "My child said 'mama,' and therefore knows the word for 'mother' and attaches
its meaning to me." We've seen that kind of thing a lot.
We joke about it between ourselves, though. In the last few days, Drew's taken to rearranging things (like that laundry
basket), so we say he'll make a good interior decorator.
I'd like to propose a social experiment for my readers.
Take two objects - tumblers, socks, whatever - that appear to be identical to each other.
Name them - A and B, John and Paul, whatever.
Mark one of them differently, but in a way you can't see without looking for it, like a pencil mark on the bottom of one tumbler.
Carry them around with you all day. Set them down at your desk, put them in the cupholders when you drive, etc.
Try to keep track of who's who. Don't cheat.
At the end of the day, see if you're right. Mail me (link at the top) with your results.
Repeat if you like.
The idea is just to pass along the very specific feeling of "which is which?" and realizing you're not sure. It's very harrowing to feel that about your own
children. That's why we waited to cut off their hospital bands until we had to, still paint Bobby's toenails, never dress them alike, and thank whomever constantly
for their ear differences.
You might find yourself doing the same with this experiment - looking for subtle differences even though you're not supposed to
in this case. It's natural.
Ideally, 100% would get it right. If everyone got confused, they'd hit it 50% of the time. I predict around 90%.
If you remove the mark (or mark the other the same way), repeat but with the idea of seeing how long it takes before you give up keeping track.
Since it was twins last time, and therefore a very risky pregnancy, Liss had an ultrasound every few weeks. This time, she
had the one halfway-point ultrasound and then occasional spot checks at the OB's office, but it's nothing like last time. She
got used to seeing the boys all the time.
Fortunately, Ellen's quite the little kicker, which reassures Liss. The boys ran out of room for that right about now, which
- added to the high-riskiness in the first place - made her a little paranoid.
This weekend we met some friends-of-friends who are expecting identical twin boys about the same time as Ellen. We crossed
the line into advice-givers instead of takers a long time ago, when it comes to taking care of small twins. The boys did a
good job of showing them many weaknesses in their baby-proofing.
While our boys never developed TTTS, these did, and
had a procedure done to correct it. Still, one boy is measuring in the 95th percentile and the other in the 20th. Their
mother is 26 weeks along, and has already been on bedrest (and not working) for seven. That's exactly the kind of thing we
were dreading when it was us, but never happened. It happened to these folks.
Liss is working on her National Board certification, despite having two toddlers and being
pregnant. Every year she's had a reason not to (active outside interests, wedding to plan, spend time with new husband,
pregnant with twins, baby twins), but there's no end in sight to that. In hindsight, she wishes she'd done it while we were
engaged, because planning the wedding was nothing compared to taking care of two toddlers. The difference is
laughable.
She'll soon have three kids instead of two, so she figures she might as well do it before that. The final portfolios are due
right around the time Ellen is, so she's planning to finish a month ahead of time. You can't count on everything going to
plan in the last phases of a pregnancy - one of the women in our online due-in-March community had her boy last week.
(Fortunately he's doing well).
The "bizz-oys" nickname seems to have been short-lived, now replaced by "boyses."
It's hard to gauge the boys' progress, since we're around them so much, whereas visitors always remark to how much more grown
up they seem than the last visit - even those that come over every week or two.
Bob's definitely the wordier of the two - more likely to copy a word, pronounce it more clearly, or use it later in a context
we can understand. He might have fifteen not-just-copying words by now to Drew's ... ten? They understand many more,
though, perhaps a few hundred.
Meanwhile, Drew can zoom up and down the stairs with ease. Bob is still more cautious about it - especially going down - but
can generally keep up. Drew's pretty close to true running. I expect them to be outside kicking soccer balls around by
summer.
They both ask permission before doing certain things, like taking the stairs, which is why we went ahead and took down the
gates.
Both of them have had their 11th tooth erupt recently - the last incisor, though on opposite sides.
There's also a step back - they don't like throwing their diapers in the trash anymore. Drew's also clinging to his nighttime
stuffed bear and binky more, but the silver lining to that is that he doesn't throw them out of his crib as much, so they're
available to soothe him when he wakes up. Bob's only done that once so far.
January 2nd+ - 28 weeks
Liss is getting pretty big - enough that she asked me to find her 6-month picture from the boys' pregnancy. She was
notably bigger in that one, so I guess she feels better now.
I think I might have jinxed us with the previous entry.
I've noticed that the boys have become more mellow in the last few weeks and months. They're having fewer random tantrums,
don't whine as much, and tantrums/whining don't last as long. The prospect of taking care of them by myself for long
stretches of time doesn't concern me anymore, because they've just become more manageable.
Start of third trimester.
Pictures and video.
They've really taken to books lately. Note how Bob's is upside
down.
Since the kitchen is the current Palace of Wonder (and where food appears from), but Liss needs to be in there despite their whining, she's
started putting them on the counter when she cooks. They insist on
"helping," which she encourages in small doses. Eventually she hopes to have three little sous chefs.
She also had this lovely idea of putting hand food in a muffin
tin, to discourage spreading the food around or hoarding everything from one's brother.
Drew with a saucy look, while trying to figure out how the
recliner works.
Tickling, nay pounding, the ivories. They like my piano much
more than their little one, but things get dicey when they get to the buttons on the panel. I'm trying to train them to stick to the keys.
This is a rare scene to capture, since opening their door
didn't wake either of them up, even after I went back down/upstairs for the camera. This was at the tail end of a 3 1/2 hour nap. I was supposed to
get them up, but just couldn't disturb this scene.
We plopped them on the changing table while we brought in
groceries. Bob's on the left.
Liss bought a couple of appropriately-sized hair brushes for
them.
[+] (long) Drew playing perpetual fetch. The important
parts are (a) that he can go down the stairs now (Bob can go a couple of steps), and (b) we took down the baby gates. They don't have the big urge
to use the stairs anymore, and when they do they generally "ask" us if it's okay, which Drew demonstrates here.